Funny Product Reviews from New Gold Tooth » Humane Society http://www.newgoldtooth.com The Funniest Place to Find Out About Random Junk on the Internet Wed, 29 Jun 2011 22:03:13 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Brian Offers to Help the Human Society- The Farewell Letter http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-human-society-the-farewell-letter/ http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-human-society-the-farewell-letter/#comments Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:20:18 +0000 Brian http://www.newgoldtooth.com/?p=965 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

In Parts I-III (available for viewing) I offered to dispose of the Humane Society’s unadoptable pets by feeding them to my python. After prolonged negotiations, we have agreed not to pursue the option for now. Here are our final communications:

 

Dear Mr. Henley, 

Thank you again for your thoughts regarding the aftercare of the animals we come in contact with through our organization.  We do indeed try to treat all animals with the care and dignity they deserve.  We also practice the utmost responsibility by treating all of the people we come in contact with the confidentiality they have a right to.  I understand your position in regard to life and adaptive physiology, but unfortunately, at this time I do not believe we will be able to come to a mutual understanding in this matter.

 

Again, thank you for contacting the San Diego Humane Society & SPCA.  Good luck in your endeavors. 

Sincerely, 

 

XXXXXX, RVT

Manager of Receiving

San Diego Humane Society & SPCA

5500 Gaines Street

San Diego, CA 92110 

“Truth never damages a cause that is just” – M. Gandhi

 

Dear Ms. XXXXXX, 

I understand. You’ve been very frank and professional with me and I appreciate that. Perhaps someday the world will be evolved enough to feed their pets to pythons, but until then we will just keep drugging and incinerating them.

It’s a moot point anyhow. My beloved snake has escaped. I suppose, given your line of work, you might be likely to see him before I do. He’s about 12.5′ long, has a green-scale pattern with a yellowish underside, and a wicked sodium pentobarbital habit. And he might be passing at least two pet locator microchips in the next month.

Let me know if you see him,

Brian

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]]> http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-human-society-the-farewell-letter/feed/ 0 Brian Offers to Help the Humane Society Part III http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-humane-society-part-iii/ http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-humane-society-part-iii/#comments Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:25:13 +0000 Brian http://www.newgoldtooth.com/?p=934 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>
In Part I (available for viewing) I offered to dispose of the Humane Society’s unwanted animals by feeding them to my snake. In Part II (also available for viewing) I posted their response and addressed their reservations. Now in Part III we explore their tolerance for looniness…

 

Dear Mr. Henley,

 

Thank you again for your thoughts.  I am afraid that our policy here is that deceased animals are sent to our partnering animal memorial park unless the pet owner requests otherwise. Good luck in your efforts.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

XXXXXX, RVT

Animal Receiving Manager

San Diego Humane Society & SPCA

5500 Gaines Street

San Diego, CA 92101

 

Dear Ms. XXXXXX,

It is very clear through our conversations that you treat the animals under your care with the utmost regard and consideration, even after their passing, and I hope the community realizes what a wonderful institution they have in the San Diego Humane Society.

I notice from your last email that you often have pet owners with specific wishes concerning their pet’s remains. Perhaps were you to inform them of my snake and me, and the service we provide, they might be interested. It would be like a little piece of their beloved companion lived on in my python, and people could find that comforting. They might also be interested in paying just to witness the spectacle, as it can be quite an arresting and graphic display of adaptive physiology.

What do you think? More options available to the bereaved can’t be a bad thing…

Sincerely,
Brian

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]]> http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-humane-society-part-iii/feed/ 0 Brian Offers to Help the Humane Society, Part II http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-humane-society-part-ii/ http://www.newgoldtooth.com/letters-out/brian-offers-to-help-the-humane-society-part-ii/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:49:05 +0000 Brian http://www.newgoldtooth.com/?p=917 Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

So in Part I (available for viewing), I offered to help the Humane Society dispose of unadopted animals by feeding them to my python. Here in Part II, I post their response and address their reservations:

Dear Mr. Henley,

Thank you for contacting the San Diego Humane Society &SPCA.  Your concern regarding unadoptable pets and the stress of our staff is truly commendable and I appreciate your thought.  We strive to offer all of the animals we work with as much dignity as possible, in life and after. Therefore, any deceased animals we have are transferred to an animal memorial park.  The remains are then treated as the pet owner has requested, or they are cremated and buried at sea.   Please also understand that sodium pentobarbital may have been give to some of these animals to hasten their passing, and this drug would not be safe for your snake to consume.

Thank you again for your care and concern.

Sincerely,

XXXXXXXX, RVT

Animal Receiving Manager

San Diego Humane Society & SPCA

Dear XXXX,

I applaud your efforts in treating your animals with as much dignity as possible. I would argue, however, that there can be no more dignified an end than perpetuating the grand circle of life; giving the energy and nutrition of your very body to sustain another fellow being. And as for the sodium pentobarbital, I have coincidentally been building my snake’s resistance to it for quite some time.

Please consider,

Brian Henley

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