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	<title>Funny Product Reviews from New Gold Tooth &#187; herblein</title>
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		<title>Herblein&#8217;s First Night</title>
		<link>http://www.newgoldtooth.com/guest-artists/herbleins-first-night/</link>
		<comments>http://www.newgoldtooth.com/guest-artists/herbleins-first-night/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mostie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Guest Artists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[father reaper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grim reaper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[halloween]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[herblein]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scythe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the white reaper]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA["Leave, oh please leave!" Cried our tales leading man, "If we meet you'll be sure to find doom."
"It is doom that I seek, from a man they call Herblein, the one with the bucket and broom."
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There once was a man who came from a town which the locals called only Nantucket.<br />
He worked in the top of the town’s oldest field, cleaning castles with towels and a bucket.<br />
He lived in a shed where the rain and the mud meant that living required ingenuity,<br />
‘Neath the wall of a castle where mold grew like yeast and it rained in stale perpetuity.</p>
<p>Herblein Steinsteen, his self-given name, called Herblein by friends he held close,<br />
Of which he had none, for it seems everyone who got near him lay dead as a post.<br />
He carried a deep dark secret did he, for ne’er did he once wish to harm.<br />
And kind though he was he stayed hidden in fear, using owls as a howling alarm.</p>
<p>T’was this very secret consuming his thoughts on a dank and windy Halloween,<br />
When our hero, Herblein, heard a knock at his door made of tin, retractable, clean.<br />
“Hello?” whispered Herblein toward the sound of the knock, speaking nervous as penguins in sand.<br />
“I’ve come with good news,” said the voice from the door it was deep, it was cold, it was bland.</p>
<p>“Leave, oh please leave!” Cried our tales leading man, “If we meet you’ll be sure to find doom.”<br />
“It is doom that I seek, from a man they call Herblein, the one with the bucket and broom.”<br />
“Then check somewhere else for though Herblein I be, I carry a bucket with towels.”<br />
“Let me in silly friend you’re the one I that seek, I know, for I followed your owls.”</p>
<p>Then silently, patiently, carefully still, with regret in each step of his stride,<br />
He opened the door and gazed upon death as a man clad in tweed stepped inside.<br />
“I know your true name, and I’ve come for my prize, for surely your time is now through,<br />
You’ve hidden and cleaned while I searched floor to beam, through factories, buildings and stew.”</p>
<p>“You shall never have me,” then Herblein declared, though the reaper in tweed merely laughed,<br />
“Have you really forgotten the deal that you made when you handed our father your staff?”<br />
“The time I was given, ten years, was too short, for I loved and I married and more,<br />
But the curse of my hands and the skill of my blood made my love pass in death to the floor.”</p>
<p>“I’ve brought her, you know,” said the image of Death, “She searches her father despite,<br />
All the years disappeared and the heartache and fear can you hear her call out through the night?”<br />
And he could, in the distance a voice pure as dawn, like a song through the sickening wind,<br />
“Send her away!” Shouted Herblein in plead, “she’ll be killed if we let her get in!”</p>
<p>“Oh Herblein, you cow, you buffoon, you galoot! You insufferable sack of toupees!<br />
Our father will not let a daughter of either of us live on earth to be raised.”<br />
Then Herblein decided and suddenly deep in his brow one could notice a shift,<br />
“It seems my dear brother an impasse has passed an un-breaking, unchangeable rift.”</p>
<p>‘If you must you can have me, my duties I’ll take and I’ll kill and I’ll reap once again,<br />
My brother, I’ll do this but only if promised that age, not your hand make her end.<br />
“I promise your daughter shall rise up to heaven as all other normal ones would,<br />
Embrace me my brother and gather your scythe have a night with the Hallows you should.”</p>
<p>Then after their grip and a thunderous drip from the rain through the roof overhead,<br />
Herblein and tweed changed to cowls with a bleed of bone white and the reek of the dead.<br />
Not a moment had passed when a scream from a girl scarcely twelve came from out of the shed,<br />
With the door opened wide all the child could but see was two faces of death and of dread.</p>
<p>Then much to the shock of our hero and also the girl standing cold in the rain,<br />
The reaper in black, the brother, the killer, the other sliced blade toward pain.<br />
A scream left her lips as the blade blistered down, but from fear as it turns was the wail,<br />
For the reaper in white, the father, the carer, the savior blocked blade from impale.</p>
<p>A battle then raged between darkness and light, such a battle your eyes could but wonder,<br />
For the speed of the movements, the sound of the clash would seem to be nothing but thunder.<br />
And oh how it raged as the girl shivered low, when her grandfather entered the scene,<br />
“My child it is time to be free of this place of the bonds of the Earth, of this dream.”</p>
<p>With the slash of a scythe, she fell to the floor though to heaven or hell we’ll not know,<br />
And her grandfather laughed with a sickening chuckle, but his slash, from above, heard below.<br />
With knowledge and purpose and pain on his side, the white reaper pushes to win,<br />
The dark reaper howling in pain and in pieces a defeated and now useless twin.</p>
<p>Their father arrived with a look on his face that could only be measured as shock,<br />
And Herblein, the reaper looked down at his father his bleached bones as biting as rock.<br />
“A child from me you have taken, my father, and so that cruel favor’s returned.<br />
Now know as you reap, as you hunt, as you sleep, an opponent has risen in turn.”</p>
<p>And off like a shot the white reaper flew free, his mission as clear as the air,<br />
A battle he’d fight, between reaper and reaper, over deaths far too young to be fair,<br />
While all are not won, he’s been known to win most of the wars to let each of them live,<br />
The stubborn white reaper defending the children, a gift from his daughter to give.</p>
<p>So now as you sleep little children take heart, if you hear a dull creak or a whine,<br />
A father protects you, a father like yours, her father, the reaper, Herblein.</p>
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 610px"><a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/Grim%20reaper%20art/kadaj2127/grim_reaper.jpg"><img title="grim reaper" src="http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii266/kadaj2127/grim_reaper.jpg" alt=" By kadaj2127  " width="600" height="656" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">By kadaj2127 </p></div>
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