As has been mentioned in previous writings, most of what we know about Testiclees comes from the writings of his student, Prostato. Prostato wrote several dialogues relating to Testiclees; his most famous works are, “The Colonoscopy,” “Phorno” and “Syphilysis.” Each book covers a different aspect of Testiclees life and theories:
- The Colonoscopy – A fictional dialogue which explores what a giant colony would be like if it was ruled by two, round philosophizing balls. Testiclees’ followers begged Prostato to call the book “The Colony,” but the name was never changed as Testiclees insisted to his dying day that Colonoscopy was a fancier way to say the same thing. (This author finds the title completely appropriate as the deeper you delve into the book, the crappier it gets.)
- Phorno– A dialogue that explores the death of Testiclees and the 12 week keg party that followed. It also explores Testiclees’ theories on the afterlife in this scene:
Testiclees:
Cry not for me, where I’m going ten virgins wait to masticate my genitals, I cannot wait to die!”Herman:
Virgin women master?Testiclees:
Of course they’re women, have I taught you nothing?Herman:
So ten goats are going to chew on your manhood?Testiclees:
(Pause) Oh Shi… (We hear the slam of an axe as it liberates Testiclees from his earthly form.)
- Syphilysis– A dialogue containing Testiclees’ philosophy on friendship
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