Tips for Surviving a Hurricane

1. Go to a hardware store and buy:

a. One roll of duct tape
b. 14 feet of PVC pipe
c. Four right angle PVC pipe connectors
d. One T-shaped PVC pipe connector
e. Six square feet of canvas
f. One can of spray paint (any color)

2. Cut the PVC pipe into:

a. Two sections two feet long
b. Two sections one and half feet long
c. One section four feet long
d. One section three feet long

3. Attach one right angle connector to each end of the three-foot long section.

4. Insert each of the two-foot long sections into the two right angle connectors connected to the three-foot long section.

5. Attach one right angle connector to each of the two-foot long sections

6. Insert each of the one-and-a-half-foot long sections into the right angle connectors attached to the two-foot long sections.

7. Join the one-and-a-half-foot long sections with the T-shaped connector.

8. Insert the four-foot long into the T-shaped connector, pointing away from the other sections.

9. Spread the canvas over the rectangular shaped frame created by the PVC pipe.

10. Fasten the canvas to the PVC pipe using the duct tape.

11. Spray paint “For Sale” onto the canvas.

12. Place the entire apparatus in your front lawn, where it is visible from the street.

13. Sell your house.

14. Move to the West Coast of the United States.

Related posts:

About New Gold Tooth

We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.