The Testiclees Dialogues, Testicular Logic

Some of Testiclees’ greatest works include his contribution to the field of philosophical logic. His most famous example of testicular logic was:

“I have testicles,
I am not a goat.
My sister has no testicles
Therefore, my sister is a goat!”

When this logical process is questioned by skeptics, philosophers generally point to the following excerpt from his student, Prostato’s, book:

Testiclees:
Cup gently your own scrotum.
Now cup that of your neighbor.
Notice that both scrotums have weight and heat.
Note also that both scrotums have roundness.
Within this roundness can be explained the source of weight and heat.
So within this fleshy roundness, must lay the human soul.

Herman:
But what about women?

Testiclees:
Women have hooters.

Herman:
So the soul of a woman can be found in her breast?

Testiclees:
Do you ever pay attention? All women are goats! Do goats have souls?

Herman:
Um? Does the goat have balls?

Testiclees:
I think you’ve made my point for me.

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