Why The World Should Admire Stephon Marbury

Stephon Marbury looks to be getting a new job with the NBA’s Boston Celtics…

Alright, the guy is a jerk. If you know a sports fan from Minneapolis, New Jersey, Phoenix or New York; ask them what they think of him. 1 for 1 they will say this exact phrase, “Stephon Marbury has all the qualities of a supremely hot chick, minus the good looks.”

Now I may sound like I’m hating on the guy, but actually, I admire him. I would love to be able to go to work, call each of my fellow co-workers a codpiece, streak the halls a couple of times and then sit down and make so much money for the business that the bosses refuse to fire me… Even though I’m sleeping with their wives/husbands/significant others (I’m no sexist and I certainly wouldn’t let a little thing like a dong get in the way of achieving legendary status in my jerk quest).

But I’m not Stephon Marbury; I simply don’t have the talent, the desire or the cast iron balls. So to him I say, well done sir! To the Boston Celtics I say, check you’re A/C ducts regularly for a well placed poop.

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About New Gold Tooth

We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.