The History of Football

I thought I would share a conversation I had on the history of Football with my friend Mike… no, I know too many Mike’s, let’s call him “Zach”. “Zach” had a theory that Football originated as a simple game with one rule. Get this ball to that side of the field. But over time; injuries, lameness and doubt over sexuality created additional rules and those rules led to the pile moving grunt fest that we all love today! The theory was interesting, so I researched it and he was pretty close to the mark!

Here is how we got to football.

(2500 years ago) Harpastum, PhainindaAncient Roman and Greek Football games. Little is known about them but they seem to be pretty much the same as the grade school favorite, Smear the queer (I can’t believe it’s still called that) with goal lines.

(1200 years ago) Mob FootballBasic New Additions; Increased use of feet and larger fleshy balls that are inflated… let’s keep moving.

(600 years ago) Camp Ball Basic New Additions; Passing, goal posts, ban on swords, stones and other weapons and Athletes Foot.

(400 years ago) Football (Soccer)Basic New Additions; Feet only, no tackling, hot moms give oranges to players at halftime.

(200 years ago) RugbyBasic New Additions; Use of hands (again), Line as a goal (again), Tackling (again), tiny shorts and proof that sports evolution can’t stop men from touching each other.

(100 years ago) American Football Basic New Additions; Line of scrimmage, down and distance rules, forward pass, butt patting after a good play, shameless advertising

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