Thanks to your votes only two douchebags remain. Cast your vote in this, the championship round, and crown America’s Biggest Douchebag!
Douchebag Championship Battle
|Dane Cook||Kanye West|
|How Mr. Cook Got Here Round-1 Defeated Alex Rodriguez 697-347
Round-2 Defeated P. Diddy 1250-1188
Some Suggestions to Help Mr. Cook Become an Even Bigger Douche
- Create the Mega-Super Finger. Nothing too fancy, in fact don’t change the hand gesture at all, just add an upward arm thrust and a little hop at the end.
- Start telling the press that some of your best friends are total “gaylords” and that’s why it’s cool that you use the word in your comedy.
- Write a movie about the last word of a publishing tycoon being “Rosebud”. Put your name on it, star in it, film it in your own inimitable style and somehow make tons of money. Maybe call it, “Citizen Dane”.
|How Mr. West Got Here Round 1- Defeated Jared Leto 897-122
Round 2- Defeated Spencer Pratt 1311-936
Some Suggestions to Help Mr. West Become an Even Bigger Douche
- Change the title of your autobiography to, “The Bible-Part 2″.
- Create your own awards show, “The Kanye’s,” air it at the same time as the Grammy’s, give every award to yourself and then tell America how awesome you are.
- Since you’ve already been “forced” to change your name to Martin Louis the King Jr, why not go all the way. Write a song called “I Have a Dream” where you sing about children wearing your high quality shoes. Who knows, it might win a “Kanye!”