I Lost My Car at the Raiders/Chargers Game in 2003

Dear Mostie,

I went to the Chargers-Raiders game in ’03 in San Diego. Where did I park my car?

Steve – San Diego, CA


Dear Steve,

I was there too man! Sunday, December 28, 2003 Chargers 21, Raiders 14! Great game, I remember it because I went to Seau’s for a drink afterward when this walking donkey in a Darth Vader mask cuts in front of me at the bar. So I yelled at him, then he yelled at me and the next thing I know, half of the bar is kicked outside, I’ve got a bruised nipple and Darth Raider is whining on about his “sore helmet”.

Raiders Fans

Now, it was a while ago and I can’t be right, but it’s highly improbable that he and his friends talked about stealing an unlocked car from the parking lot… What if that was your car? You’re not going to let that oaf get away with stealing your ride are you? I say we go to the next Raiders home game and take care of this.

Pick me up on the way to Oakland (I’m in Pasadena, email me for the address), I’ll bring the deep fryer, you bring the Twinkies and we’ll have a Tom Petty sing-a-long the whole way to the Coliseum. When we get there, you can confront Darth Raider and then duel as gentlemen do, by chainsaw sword fight.

Sadly, I’m sure that by now your car has been chopped and shipped in pieces to the highest bidder. But I hope that this advice can at least give you the satisfaction of knowing that you vanquished the charlatan probably not responsible.

I sincerely hope this helps,

Mostie

Related posts:

About New Gold Tooth

We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.