Richard and Poon Review “Marley and Me” and Stepladders

RICHARDRichard here with another review for you. This week, I figured I’d give you the scoop on a book called “Marley & Me.” Based on a movie, this book is all about a dog. That’s pretty much where I checked out – I have a paralyzing fear of dogs, and an even bigger fear of pictures of dogs – what were they thinking, putting one right on the cover of a book? You go to pick it up and there it is – a fierce, murderous dog, sitting there with a bow around its neck (no doubt some sort of gang-wear) and its head cocked as if to say “when I’m done ripping your body to shreds, I’m going to eat your soul. Woof!” Well, I don’t think so, Mr. Picture of a Dog. I’m wise to your schemes. My recommendation for this book? Put it in a cage and ship it to Guam, where they probably like feral dog pictures – I think I saw something about that on The Family Channel one time. STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK!

Regards,

Richard

POONHey Webnet. Poon here. While I was rummaging through my closet today I had to use a stepladder.

Stepladders. Here’s a review for you: Stepladders are VERY dangerous! I wear a size 10 shoe, so my Saucony tennies would not even fit properly on the steps. Each time I’d try to place my foot on a step, my toes would catch on the top step and pull my ankle back. My thoughts of breaking a bone were so strong that physical pain was running though my body until my fear of bone breaking prevented me from going through with using our Stepladder. I had to get a hammer to let it know who’s boss. We will be throwing out the once-semi-used-Stepladder because it is now just two plastic platforms and these V-shaped aluminum pole-looking things. A complete waste.

I spent at least an hour today thinking of my close call with death. It was a scary place to be and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. If you do wish things on your worst enemy, then get them a Stepladder!

Stepladders.

Do you Stepladder?

TTFN,

Poon

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About New Gold Tooth

We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.