Duct Tape and Urine

RICHARD

Hey There, Hi There, Ho There Webnet Folks,

I found the greatest thing today! You know how I’m a compulsive snorter, right? I’ve had all manner of objects sucked into my nasal cavities in the heat of the moment: dice, marbles, a baby; anyway, I found a great product geared specifically toward CNI (Compulsive Nasal Inhalers) like me – duct tape! Just place a strip over your nostrils and finally be free!

I know what you’re thinking: “Richard, what’s to stop you from inhaling the duct tape?” This is the beauty of it: YOU CAN’T! IT’S STUCK TO THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR NOSE! I’ve had the same piece blocking up my nose for the last 75 hours!

I’m starting to feel dizzy. Poon says my breathing sounds like a suction hose. So tired.

Regards,

A Chicken

POON

Hello Webnet. Poon here.

A review of urine:

I just found out urine is sterile. I am no longer afraid of our dog’s urine. I used to be horrified of urine. Anything that comes out florescent yellow when mixed with vitamins just does not sit well with me. Urine sounds worse than it actually is because of its name. UR-INE… say that out loud… UR-INE….URINE. Ugh. If urine is so sterile and safe – why don’t they call it cleanine. “I just drank a lot of water and now I have to go release my cleanine”. Or “Poon, may we have a cleanine sample?” “Well, of course Doctor, I’d be delighted to give you a cleanine sample” or “If you get stung by a sting ray be sure to get someone to cleaninate on the wound!”.

Does the word urine make you feel dirty?

TTFN,

Poon

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We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.