Mostie’s Blog

Hello there. My name is Mostie and I have been given the daunting task of representing newgoldtooth.com in something called the blogosphere. To be honest, I’m a little nervous about it. I’d love to tell you that I know everything and that you should expect this blog to give you the knowledgenecessary to wake sleeping pandas or paint your cock1, but I don’t, and it won’t. What you can expect from this blog is a fresh take on the news,nature, mankind and the relative comfort of my sack2 during a given blog.

I will endeavor to remain truthful in all of my blogs. If I ever lie, it will be in the name of great humor, purposeless misdirection and to teach a fundamental… wait… oh come on! What? …sorry everyone… crap, I just found out that my website, mostieisclearlyawesome.com, crashed. Again! It keeps crashing because everybody keeps visiting the site over and over. It’s actually kind of annoying, I mean, can you believe that I’ve never actually seen the site either? Crazy, huh? Actually, if one of you breaks through for the rare millisecond that the site isn’t down, could you please let me know how rad I am?

And there you have it, a lie perpetuated for the sole purpose of teaching a fundamental truth. The fundamental truth being, as long as you add a “.com” to the end of a word, you can make up any word or series of words and the Microsoft spell checker doesn’t catch it as a typo.

Examples:
Spolnduyovef.com
plaidpantsbrigade.com
idiosyncraticdustbuggyoflove.com

Worked on all three! Go ahead and try that at home in your spare time.

I hope that this blog gave you a little taste of what to expect from here on out. Please feel free to use the comment box below to share your own spellchecker defeating classics!

Until next time, be dominant and eat right.

1 I’m talking about a rooster
2 I carry a comfort sack. It’s like a mood ring only it measures my comfort and instead of it being a ring it’s a sack3
3 Instead of it being fastened to my finger it’s fastened to my cock4
4 Still talking about a rooster

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About New Gold Tooth

We're a team of comedians with different specialties. Mostie does sports, Brian does pranks, the Zombie Gorillas animate stuff and Richard and Poon throw poop at each other. We're pretty sure that might be all you need to know about us. But if you really want to know more about us, please feel free to write a letter personally. Just place a self addresses stamped envelope in the mail with the following message: "I just paid the current rate of postage to mail myself a letter. This has taught me two things, one, I might be a moron and two, any website that would ask me to do this is supremely jerky." If you want to know anything else, send a second letter. You'll get the idea soon enough.