Email Account – Brian Henley
From: Brian Henley [firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 1:30 PM
Dear Ackley T.:
I must admit it stings a little to have my luminous, vulnerable soul lumped into a category with imaginary concoctions like ghosts, demons and air. I assure you my soul is very real, as is my rhythm.
Your insults notwithstanding, however, I see a way to resolve this in a classic win-win situation: I am a guy looking to trade his eternal soul for short-time profit. EBay, as we have well established through our dialogue, is an empty bureaucracy that values the sacred as paltry next to tradable commodities like psychic readings and psychology sessions; while equating the divine with air. The answer is obvious. I want to sell a soul and eBay desperately needs one.
I hereby open formal negotiations with eBay itself for the purchase of my immortal soul.
Put me in contact with somebody who makes decisions.