Brian Offers to Help the Humane Society, Part II

So in Part I (available for viewing), I offered to help the Humane Society dispose of unadopted animals by feeding them to my python. Here in Part II, I post their response and address their reservations:

Dear Mr. Henley,

 

Thank you for contacting the San Diego Humane Society &SPCA. Your concern regarding unadoptable pets and the stress of our staff is truly commendable and I appreciate your thought. We strive to offer all of the animals we work with as much dignity as possible, in life and after. Therefore, any deceased animals we have are transferred to an animal memorial park. The remains are then treated as the pet owner has requested, or they are cremated and buried at sea. Please also understand that sodium pentobarbital may have been give to some of these animals to hasten their passing, and this drug would not be safe for your snake to consume.

 

Thank you again for your care and concern.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

XXXXXXXX, RVT

Animal Receiving Manager

San Diego Humane Society & SPCA

Dear XXXX,

I applaud your efforts in treating your animals with as much dignity as possible. I would argue, however, that there can be no more dignified an end than perpetuating the grand circle of life; giving the energy and nutrition of your very body to sustain another fellow being. And as for the sodium pentobarbital, I have coincidentally been building my snake’s resistance to it for quite some time.

Please consider,

Brian Henley

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About Brian

Brian is a retired drill-press operator who lives voluntarily off the grid in a cabin in Montana. He has apparently been sending fake letters to businesses and prominent citizens for decades, as a hobby. We became aware of him when he sent us an envelope filled with white powder and some uncooked alphabet soup letters that spelled ‘ANTHRAX”. We spent over $100,000 sanitizing our offices and testing the staff before labs identified the substance as baking soda. We thought it was hilarious and asked him if we could publish his outgoing mail.