A Letter to Simon Cowell from Emperor Palpatine

Emperor Palpatine, Dark Lord of the Sith
1 Capital Tower
Coruscant, CT 66677

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Simon Cowell
c/o SYCO Music
Bedford House
69-79 Fulham High Street
London SW6 3JW

RE: Well done, my Dark Apprentice

My Dearest Darth Cowell:

Well done, my Dark apprentice. You have served your Master well. You have convinced the free beings of your assigned quadrant to worship and fawn upon the banal and mediocre as ordered.

Only one step remains. Await my signal and then this solar system, like so many others, shall fall to the reign of the Empire and to the power of the Dark Side.

Let your anger flow within you,

Emperor Palpatine, Dark Lord of the Sith

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